Skip to content

18 Ways to be a Good Liberal

August 19, 2007

  This is actually a re-post of a post I made back when I first started this blog. Not too many people saw it back then, so I thought I would post it now.

  This is from an e-mail i received:

18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’s.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th– graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but PETA activists do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make “The Passion of the Christ” for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.

17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protect ed, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

GOD BLESS AMERICA
Oops, can’t do that either!

7 Comments leave one →
  1. August 19, 2007 3:49 pm

    One important one that is missing from that list is that you need to believe that the government can do a better job of raising your child than you can.

    Like

  2. August 19, 2007 8:44 pm

    Good point, anyone else have something that may be missing?

    Like

  3. August 20, 2007 5:31 pm

    Those are great, thanks for the laughs! As a corollary to #6 I would add: You have to believe that the a gay man MUST have a gay man as a partner, but the sex of someone’s parents is completely irrelevant (i.e., with gay adoptions).

    Like

  4. August 20, 2007 8:39 pm

    Another good one. Anyone else?

    Like

  5. August 20, 2007 9:29 pm

    #13 just struck me as being very funny today.

    I’ll add:

    You have to believe that President Bush is the most stupid, dumbest president ever in American history, yet some how managed to mastermind 9/11 (pulling off the biggest and most ridiculously complex conspiracy in the history of the world)!!! From http://jjkaiser.blogspot.com/

    Like

  6. August 21, 2007 7:59 pm

    It is strange that such a dumb man can pull off such a brilliant cospiracy isn’t it? 🙂
    Next?

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. Need a Chuckle? « Old Ford Road

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: