Cell Phone Elbow, The Next Big Crisis?

  Now that the contrived swine flu hysteria has fizzled out what is the next big crisis that Americans need to confront? Is it the president saying that Iran deserves nuclear technology? No. Is it the government taking over a private automobile industry and creating the new “peoples car?” No. Is it the economy or health-care? No.

 The next big crisis is “cell phone elbow.” That’s right, people who talk on their cell phones are going to get “cell phone elbow.” Oh the horror!

When cell phone users hold the phone to their ears, they stretch a nerve that extends underneath the funny bone and controls the smallest fingers. When talkers chat for a long time in that position, it “chokes the blood supply to the nerves. It makes the nerves short-circuit. The next thing you know, there’s tingling in the ring and small finger,”

    The elbow is a joint, a joint is meant to bend. But now bending your elbow to talk on the phone is dangerous. Bending your elbow will stretch a nerve and will cause your fingers to tingle, leading to death. Okay, I am exaggerating but come on, let us be just a little bit real here.

   Bending your elbow to talk on the phone puts much, much less stress on the elbow than hard, physical labor does. Have we become so wussified in America that just talking on a phone weakens our muscles and ligaments to the point where we face irreversible damage to our bodies? What would happen to people in this country today if they had to work the land as our forefathers did? 

  I thought that I had heard it all when I wrote about “Phantom Vibration Syndrome” in November of ’07 but this takes the cake.